Why is Mr. Feeny a Car? - S02E04 – Dukes of Hazzard (1979): “One Armed Bandits”

The Dukes of Hazzard in a very entertaining show that is unfortunately buried underneath multiple layers of Daughters of the Confederacy obfuscation and Hollywood writing room ignorance. Good looking guys and gals tear-assing around the countryside in a classic American muscle car clowning on corrupt law enforcement all while fighting for justice and the underprivileged. What’s not to like? Wait, they’re calling that car the General what now? And what’s that on its roof? Oh. Ah. Okay. Hear us out. We have a plan to save the Duke boys from themselves!

John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023)

John Wick: Chapter 4 is a return to form. It’s beautiful to look at, the action is fun, and there’s some laugh out loud moments. A.Ron has deemed the production design as “wealthcore” aesthetic (let’s see how long it takes for that to trend on TikTok). Jim has a hot take on Keanu Reeves as an actor. Find out more about this ultra-violent ballet of death from your favorite hosts.
Club members, catch the John Wick movie rankings at this coming Lunch with Jim and A.Ron!

Why is Mr. Feeny a Car? - S02E03 – MacGyver (1985): “Pilot”

This week we take a look at Big Dick Anderson’s Magnum Opus, MacGyver. MacGyver was James Bond with Bill Nye the Science Guy sensibilities, and when Jim heard he was the subject of our next Feeny, he had to join. This is a great introduction to the character and his schtick, as Mac has to travel to an underground bunker that has suffered a catastrophic bombing, and now threatens to leak powerful acids into the local water table. It’s up to Mac, with a busted pair of binocs, some chocolate bars, a gram or two of pure sodium, and a few cold capsules to save the day. As a bonus, I tell the tale of how MacGyver nearly blinded a kid back in the third grade!

Why is Mr. Feeny a Car? - S02E02 – Airwolf (1984) Pilot: “Shadow of the Hawke”

Boy, these shows really loved their feature length pilots, didn’t they? This week’s shadowy flight takes Jay and A.Ron into the world of a real man’s: Stringfellow Hawke. Stoic, heroic, traumatized war vet, appreciator of fine wine and finer art, musically gifted, philosophically complicated, mysterious and irresistible to women, stunt pilot by day and mercenary pilot by night. It’s A LOT. Airwolf is still badass, the villain is campy fun, Archangel is cool as coolwhip in his ice cream suit and patchglasses, but nearly every scene without a helicopter is deader than Gaddafi, who may or may not appear in this episode. Btw, did you know you can like, die, just by staying outside too long? It’s TRUE!

Why is Mr. Feeny a Car? - S02E01 – The A-Team Pilot: “Mexican Slayride”

We’re back for season two, where we’ll be sampling from the very best of 80s action television as we watch the pilots where all these stories begin. This week, we’re with the A-Team, who from what we gather are an elite team of special forces con-men, as they attempt to run a mercenary co-op with a side hustle of Hollywood studio backlot misadventures. Things get a little rough in patches, but the theme song is rad and Mr. T is still awesome.

Bald Move Pulp - Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992)

In under 90 minutes, this movie manages to offend, stupefy, and disturb. You’ll laugh, but not for the reasons the writers want you to. Sylvester Stallone stars in this movie, and was supposedly tricked into the role. You can check out the Schwarzenegger-Stallone Rivalry in this wild Wikipedia page. It’s worth noting that one of the three writers of this movie is Blake Snyder. Snyder is the author of the best-selling screenwriting book, Save The Cat. So keep that in mind before you drop money on this while we’re already dealing with inflation.

Bald Move Pulp - Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)

Last Crusade was an excellent sendoff, so when this movie hit the big screen, people had things to say. Fourteen years later, Jim and A.Ron are here to share takes that are still scorching hot. Spielberg and Lucas, bastions of movie magic, sparred during production…and it shows. Indiana and his crew uncover alien activity and survive a Chet Hanks cameo. Climb into your emergency fridge and hang on for this wild ride.

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The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)

Welcome to another First Rum Christmas! There’s a chill in the air and a chill in the heart of Ebenezer Scrooge. “Everything is Muppets and it’s glorious”, says A.Ron. Jim premieres his Muppet voice and A.Ron fancies one of the Muppets even before much whisky is consumed. It’s a heartbreaking and heartwarming story, and thanks to the drinks it’s also hilarious.

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Falling for Christmas

Lindsay Lohan returns to the screen in a shiny new Christmas movie with all of your favorite cliches. Watch a trust fund adult go from trope to trope in a delightful addition to the vault of Hallmark movies that you’ve watched already, don’t deny it. Grab your fuzziest blanket and a mug of hot chocolate and settle in for the latest reincarnation of your favorite Christmas movies.

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Violent Night (2022)

All December long Jim and A.Ron will be bringing you First Rum Christmas! Settle in because your favorite hosts have an advent calendar of rum and some great Christmas movies to discuss. First up is David Harbour’s action/Xmas flick, Violent Night. With John Wick levels of violence and surprises up every chimney, this movie deserves a way better score on Rotten Tomatoes.