Bald Move TV – The Young Pope – 102 – Episode 2

Two episodes in two nights, that’s the kind of papal performance you expect from a young, virile Pope. A pope with power! A.Ron has cooled a bit on the second episode, but Cecily and Jim are still picking up what The Young Pope is laying down. Will Lenny end up alienating every practicing Catholic on earth? Will the kangaroo ever have a speaking role? And how many pontiff puns can we produce, anyway? Stay tuned and find out!

Up Yours, Downstairs!

Up Yours, Downstairs! – The King’s Sassy Address To Parliament

In their recap of The Crown S1E2, Kelly & Tom cover all three dimensions. They discuss the water of sexual harassment, Britain’s difficulty with filming its colonial history, interchangeable feet, gypsy curses, and a genuinely heartbreaking moment. Kelly nearly does a spit take, Tom writes a new Cole Porter song, and everyone agrees that Victoria…

Bald Movies – PCU (1994)

Special thanks to Josh “anubus21” Wilson again for yet another commission (he also is responsible for the recent Screamers), this time he decided to troll us by making us watch the terrible “Jeremy Piven goes to college” movie, PCU. We figured it was only fair to troll him back by tearing the movie a new one. We don’t think the movie is particularly funny, it’s message is bad, and it’s full of unlikable characters with murky motivations and goals beyond throwing the ultimate rager and wishing minorities and vegetarians would just, you know, chill already. Its lone bright spot is that mid-movie, George Clinton personally pilots the Mothership as he drops a righteous funk bomb on the film, but even ordinance that powerful couldn’t stop the monstrous Piven.

All in all, a fairly successful troll all around. Thanks for your support, Josh, and… enjoy?

Up Yours, Downstairs!

Up Yours, Downstairs! – Take a Hit, Sugar Cookie

Kelly & Tom welcome Red Scott of Boars, Gore & Swords for their first recap of the Netflix Original The Crown. They are relieved to report it is an actual show (unlike late period Selfridge) and delighted as they witness the toff version of a company offsite, explain what Gogglebox is, rate the many portrayals of…

Bald Movies – Natural Born Killers (1994)

Jason decided to tag his wife Aime back for the the movies (Transformers, Toxic Avenger) she’d commissioned for him over Christmas, by having us chat about her personal favorite movie, Oliver Stone’s 1994 film, Natural Born Killers. We found this movie to be wonderfully cast (Woody Harrelson, Juliette Lewis, Robert Downey, Jr., Tommy Lee Jones, Tom Sizemore, among others) and fully insane in it’s direction, visuals, editing, and message, and thus spent about half our time talking about the film itself, and the other half pondering the human condition. Jason, Aime, hope you two crazy love birds enjoy this commission, and if either of you start talking about being the god of your world, back out of the room slowly. Make no sudden movements.

Bald Movies – The Toxic Avenger (1984)

Merry Christmas, Jason Miller! Your wife, Aime thought it would be a nice present to commission you a pair of podcasts to open beneath the tree. This is one of them, 1984’s cult horror classic, “The Toxic Avenger”. Directed by Michael Herz and “starring” Mitch Cohen, Mark Torgl, Andree Maranda, it’s a work of pure cinematic insanity of over the top and cheaply filmed gore, sex, violence, and sexual violence. We discuss Troma films in general, pollution, dick punching, and much more as we attempt to review a movie that defies criticism.

Bald Movies – Transformers The Movie (1986)

Amee Miller commissioned Transformers the Movie as a Christmas present for her beloved husband Jason. Featuring the voice talents of Leonard Nimoy, Orsen Wells, Petter Cullen, and Scatman Crothers, the movie certainly lives up to it’s billing as “beyond your wildest imagination.” For example, I’d never imagine an underwater chase scene involving muscle cars, mentally challenged dinosaur robots leading a populist revolt against injustice, a microscope being used as a telescope, or Weird Al Yankovic’s “Dare to Be Stupid” being used in an all-robot dance number. Maybe my imagination is broken or something.