Bald Move Prestige - Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)

Josh Wilson from North Carolina has commissioned yet another movie! This time he selected the psychedelic and family friendly (?!) 1971 Gene Wilder classic, “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.” What’s going on with Charlie’s grandparents? Is his grandpa a coke fiend? Do the Umpa Lumpa have free will? Why is chewing gum considered a personal flaw? Why does Charlie get a free pass for stealing fizzy lifting drinks? And what business does Quaker Oats have making movies, anyway? All this and much more are considered.

Bald Move Prestige - A Cure for Wellness (2017)

A.Ron and Jim saw A Cure for Wellness, the ambitious but ultimately flawed psychological horror film by Gore Verbinski. It’s got a lot of things going for it; a spectacular and committed cast (Mia Goth, Dane DeHaan, Jason Isaacs), great visuals, disturbing imagery galore, yet manages to build very little suspense and ultimately leads up to exactly what you think it will 30 minutes into the film. Ultimately, we can’t recommend this film, although we think it was a worthy film making attempt. After discussing our brief non-spoiler thoughts on the movie, we discuss the trailers we saw before the feature, and then break down the twists of the film, such as they are, in the Club Bald Move exclusive spoiler section.

Bald Move Prestige - Gold (2017)

Jim and A.Ron give their thoughts on a terrible, no good, boring film starring Matthew McConaughey, Bryce Dallas Howard, Édgar Ramírez and directed by Stephen Gaghan; Gold. It’s the definition of a mediocre film that half-asses themes that much better films have done very recently, including The Wolf of Wall Street, American Hustle, and The Big Short. We also discuss the upcoming lineup of first run Bald Movies, before getting to the Club only spoiler section. See you in a few weeks for John Wick 2!

Bald Move Prestige - PCU (1994)

Special thanks to Josh “anubus21” Wilson again for yet another commission (he also is responsible for the recent Screamers), this time he decided to troll us by making us watch the terrible “Jeremy Piven goes to college” movie, PCU. We figured it was only fair to troll him back by tearing the movie a new one. We don’t think the movie is particularly funny, it’s message is bad, and it’s full of unlikable characters with murky motivations and goals beyond throwing the ultimate rager and wishing minorities and vegetarians would just, you know, chill already. Its lone bright spot is that mid-movie, George Clinton personally pilots the Mothership as he drops a righteous funk bomb on the film, but even ordinance that powerful couldn’t stop the monstrous Piven.

All in all, a fairly successful troll all around. Thanks for your support, Josh, and… enjoy?

Bald Move Prestige - Natural Born Killers (1994)

Jason decided to tag his wife Aime back for the movies (Transformers, Toxic Avenger) she’d commissioned for him over Christmas, by having us chat about her personal favorite movie, Oliver Stone’s 1994 film, Natural Born Killers. We found this movie to be wonderfully cast (Woody Harrelson, Juliette Lewis, Robert Downey, Jr., Tommy Lee Jones, Tom Sizemore, among others) and fully insane in it’s direction, visuals, editing, and message, and thus spent about half our time talking about the film itself, and the other half pondering the human condition. Jason, Aime, hope you two crazy love birds enjoy this commission, and if either of you start talking about being the god of your world, back out of the room slowly. Make no sudden movements.

Bald Move Prestige - The Voices (2014)

Julie Webster of “Teeth” commissioning fame/infamy is back again with another movie to bend our noodles. This one a criminally overlooked Ryan Reynolds movie, “The Voices”. Under the direction of Academy Award winner Marjane Satrapi, and joined by co-star Anna Kendrick, Reynolds really comes out swinging as a poorly understood young man with non-existant social skills just trying to find happiness in life. Unfortunately, for reasons both nature and nurture, his search is in vain, and the movie spirals down an ever increasing dark path. An impressive movie, and one worth watching if you don’t think Ryan Reynolds is capable of any kind of nuanced, interesting work. Just be warned, this movie is pitch black, and very uncomfortable in places.