Bald Movies – Alien: Covenant (2017)

Jim and A.Ron have seen Alien: Covenant, and declare it to be gorgeous, ambitious, and filled to the brim lofty ideas, but that it’s also really, really stupid. Which is a shame, since that’s a flaw that mired it’s predecessor, Prometheus. Ridley Scott still knows how to shoot a film, no doubt, but has he forgotten how to put smart, sharply defined characters in peril without them being the dumbest, pettiest humans alive?

Bald Movies – Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017)

We’ve seen Marvel’s latest installment in the never ending onslaught of comic book movies, Gaurdians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, and we think it’s pretty great. Some debate can be had about whether it’s as “good” as the first one, how much of the first’s success was due to the surprise delight factor, etc. But at the end of the day it’s a really, really good comic book movie, it’s fun, it’s colorful, it’s imaginative, it has the necessary emotional weight to make you connect to the characters and plot, it’s impeccably cast with tons of surprise guest spots, and, perhaps most importantly, it’s funny as hell. Please enjoy our spoiler-free review of the movie, and discussion of the latest trailers and upcoming movies for free! But if you want to know our full spoiler filled take on the movie, you’ll have to be a Club Member. Why not join today? The first 30 days are on us!

Bald Movies – The Circle (2017)

Jim and A.Ron have seen the future, and it is The Circle, and we’re not sure if it’s good. This movie, or the future. They’re both kind of a mess. While extremely well cast and for the most part acted, the basic plot is caught between a cautionary tale, a psychological thriller, and a Young Adult novel, and doesn’t manage to pull any facet off well. But it is legitimately thought provoking. You’ll find the spoiler section for this movie to be positively chocked full of provoked thoughts, but you’ll have to be a Club Member to hear us talk about the tensions between liberty and privacy and our fears for the inevitability of radical transparency.

Bald Movies – The Fate of the Furious (2017)

Jim and A.Ron loved the hell out of The Fate of the Furious, the eight installment in the Fast and Furious franchise. Great characters, great dialog, great action set pieces, fairly plausible and coherent plot (as far as these things go), and some just hilarious, Three Stooges type slapstick action comedy courtesy The Rock and Jason Statham. You either love these movies or have long since outgrown them, but for the people who can tune in to these kinds of demented frequencies, it’s top notch entertainment. The best F&F in years, maybe ever. Feel free to listen to our non spoiler take as well as a robust discussion of upcoming films and trailers, but if you want to hear our full spoiler filled break down of the movie, you’re going to have to be a Club Member.

Bald Movies – Kong: Skull Island (2017)

Jim and A.Ron have seen the majestic Kong: Skull Island, and are… not underwhelmed. Not overwhelmed, certainly. I’d say we were properly whelmed. This is an expensive, state of the art monster movie, and delivers the goods that you were expecting. Unfortunately, 90% of its best moments are captured perfectly by the movie’s trailer, which is a shame, and maybe we shouldn’t judge it for that, but there it is. We also break down a few trailers for upcoming movies as is our wont, but if you want to hear Kong-sized spoilers about Skull Crawlers and giant Stick Bugs, you’re going to have to be a Club Bald Move member.

Bald Movies – Logan (2017)

Jim and A.Ron are very impressed with the swan song for Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine in Logan.  It’s a great film, nevermind a great comic book movie, drawing on our long history with the tortured Wolverine and Patrick Stewart’s equally iconic Charles Xavier to generate real emotion as these men struggle at the end of their days.…

Bald Movies – A Cure for Wellness (2017)

A.Ron and Jim saw A Cure for Wellness, the ambitious but ultimately flawed psychological horror film by Gore Verbinski. It’s got a lot of things going for it; a spectacular and committed cast (Mia Goth, Dane DeHaan, Jason Isaacs), great visuals, disturbing imagery galore, yet manages to build very little suspense and ultimately leads up to exactly what you think it will 30 minutes into the film. Ultimately, we can’t recommend this film, although we think it was a worthy film making attempt. After discussing our brief non-spoiler thoughts on the movie, we discuss the trailers we saw before the feature, and then break down the twists of the film, such as they are, in the Club Bald Move exclusive spoiler section.

Bald Movies – John Wick: Chapter 2 (2017)

Jim and A.Ron have seen John Wick: Chapter Two, and proclaim it “more of the same”, and we mean that as a compliment. There’s still some shaky plotting when the action dies down, but thankfully that only happens for five, maybe ten minutes tops and then it’s back to headshots and stabbing galore. This film’s body count is astronomical, and if you can’t find some sort of grim humor in Keanu butchering men and women like so much cattle, then this isn’t the film for you. But you probably already knew that. Also! We discuss trailers for upcoming films, then get super spoilery about Mr. Wick, but that’s an exclusive feature for Club Members Only!

Bald Movies – Gold (2017)

Jim and A.Ron give their thoughts on a terrible, no good, boring film starring Matthew McConaughey, Bryce Dallas Howard, Édgar Ramírez and directed by Stephen Gaghan; Gold. It’s the definition of a mediocre film that half-asses themes that much better films have done very recently, including The Wolf of Wall Street, American Hustle, and The Big Short. We also discuss the upcoming lineup of first run Bald Movies, before getting to the Club only spoiler section. See you in a few weeks for John Wick 2!