Bald Movies – The Mummy (2017)

Jim and A.Ron checked out the summer action/horror/Tom Cruise vehicle, The Mummy. A.Ron thinks it’s dumb, but fun, and draws comparisons to Stargate, American Werewolf in London, Hellboy, and League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Jim thinks it has the kind of fun, swashbuckling, scoundrel flavor found in the Uncharted video game series. So is it a successful start to Universal’s ambitious interconnected monster saga, Dark Universe? We’ll have to see how much money it makes. Please enjoy our spoiler free review of the film, as well as discussion of upcoming summer movies such as Atomic Blonde, Baby Driver, and American Assassin. But if you want to hear our spoiler filled review, you’ll have to be a Club Bald Move member!

Bald Movies – Wonder Woman (2017)

Hey everybody! DC has made a good post-Nolan superhero movie! Wonder Woman isn’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but Patty Jenkins directs Gal Gadot as a powerful avenging war goddess striding across the battlefield, but instills the heroine with enough human-scaled heart to keep us emotionally engaged. The film looks and sounds great, and Chris Pine is very good as a gender-bent damsel in various distress. Please enjoy our spoiler-free review and discussion of upcoming movies, but if you want to hear our spoiler filled deep dive, you’re going to have to be a Club Member!

Bald Movies – Alien: Covenant (2017)

Jim and A.Ron have seen Alien: Covenant, and declare it to be gorgeous, ambitious, and filled to the brim lofty ideas, but that it’s also really, really stupid. Which is a shame, since that’s a flaw that mired it’s predecessor, Prometheus. Ridley Scott still knows how to shoot a film, no doubt, but has he forgotten how to put smart, sharply defined characters in peril without them being the dumbest, pettiest humans alive?

Bald Movies – Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017)

We’ve seen Marvel’s latest installment in the never ending onslaught of comic book movies, Gaurdians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, and we think it’s pretty great. Some debate can be had about whether it’s as “good” as the first one, how much of the first’s success was due to the surprise delight factor, etc. But at the end of the day it’s a really, really good comic book movie, it’s fun, it’s colorful, it’s imaginative, it has the necessary emotional weight to make you connect to the characters and plot, it’s impeccably cast with tons of surprise guest spots, and, perhaps most importantly, it’s funny as hell. Please enjoy our spoiler-free review of the movie, and discussion of the latest trailers and upcoming movies for free! But if you want to know our full spoiler filled take on the movie, you’ll have to be a Club Member. Why not join today? The first 30 days are on us!

Bald Movies – The Circle (2017)

Jim and A.Ron have seen the future, and it is The Circle, and we’re not sure if it’s good. This movie, or the future. They’re both kind of a mess. While extremely well cast and for the most part acted, the basic plot is caught between a cautionary tale, a psychological thriller, and a Young Adult novel, and doesn’t manage to pull any facet off well. But it is legitimately thought provoking. You’ll find the spoiler section for this movie to be positively chocked full of provoked thoughts, but you’ll have to be a Club Member to hear us talk about the tensions between liberty and privacy and our fears for the inevitability of radical transparency.

Bald Movies – The Wicker Man (2006)

Special thanks to David Pavlicko and the ProjectorPeople.com for commissioning this very “special” movie, the Nicolas Cage remake of The Wicker Man. This movie is perhaps the epitome of the genre of “crazy ass Nick Cage movies”. It makes no sense, it gives Mr. Cage an excuse to act progressively more and more insane, leading up to the incredible third act which sees him reduced to screaming at Maximum Cage levels, while, for example, having thousands of bees poured down his throat. It’s breathtaking, really.

Bald Movies – The Fate of the Furious (2017)

Jim and A.Ron loved the hell out of The Fate of the Furious, the eight installment in the Fast and Furious franchise. Great characters, great dialog, great action set pieces, fairly plausible and coherent plot (as far as these things go), and some just hilarious, Three Stooges type slapstick action comedy courtesy The Rock and Jason Statham. You either love these movies or have long since outgrown them, but for the people who can tune in to these kinds of demented frequencies, it’s top notch entertainment. The best F&F in years, maybe ever. Feel free to listen to our non spoiler take as well as a robust discussion of upcoming films and trailers, but if you want to hear our full spoiler filled break down of the movie, you’re going to have to be a Club Member.

Bald Movies – Aliens (1986)

Multiple-commissioner Josh from Saxapahaw, NC is back with another goodie, James Cameron’s take on the Aliens franchise. One of the all time great sci-fi action movies, it supplies nearly non stop action with a sturdy heroine to build around, lots of colorful characters to die, implacable, terrifying antagonists, and impressive effect and design work. Plus, we eulogize the late, great, Bill “Tons of Peace” Paxton. Thanks again, Josh, this was a lot of fun!

Bald Movies – Ghost in the Shell (2017)

Jim and A.Ron are surprisingly underwhelmed by the live action version of the classic sci-fi anime, Ghost in the Shell. Unimpressive from a philosophic and even action standpoint, both it’s ideas and stunts seemed largely tired and less alive than the half human half robot protagonist of the movie. The cast and crew give it a valiant try, but ultimately the slavish devotion to the source material is a millstone around the film’s neck that it can never quite shrug off. Enjoy the spoiler free movie and preview discussion, but if you want to hear our full spoiler filled thoughts you’re going to have to be a Club Member!

Bald Movies – Kong: Skull Island (2017)

Jim and A.Ron have seen the majestic Kong: Skull Island, and are… not underwhelmed. Not overwhelmed, certainly. I’d say we were properly whelmed. This is an expensive, state of the art monster movie, and delivers the goods that you were expecting. Unfortunately, 90% of its best moments are captured perfectly by the movie’s trailer, which is a shame, and maybe we shouldn’t judge it for that, but there it is. We also break down a few trailers for upcoming movies as is our wont, but if you want to hear Kong-sized spoilers about Skull Crawlers and giant Stick Bugs, you’re going to have to be a Club Bald Move member.