Bald Movies – Mother! (2017)

Jim and A.Ron have seen Darren Aronofsky’s newest film, Mother!, and A.Ron hates it while Jim isn’t sure.  But it’s rated 78% on Rotten Tomatoes, so don’t let us put you off it.  It’s a piece of art, and it makes you feel things, that’s for sure.  Oh, by the way, if it hasn’t been clear, me — that is to say, A.Ron — is the guy who writes all of these little stub articles that no one reads and I’m still kind of angry and raw that I sat through this film, so I’m going to see myself out.  Enjoy the free part of the movie review and trailer talk, and if you want to hear us try to decompress the film, there’s that too but only if you’re a Club Member.  See you next week for Kingsmen 2: The Golden Circle.

Bald Movies – The Dark Tower (2017)

We have seen The Dark Tower, being the latest attempt to adapt the works of Stephen King to the big screen. How did it fair? Well… Neither of us have read the novel series that the movie is based on, which seemed to be a plus, because I think we liked it more than most, certainly more than die hard Tower fans. Idris Elba is very, very good, and looks the business as the Gunslinger, and has excellent chemistry with the young boy who holds the fate of multiple worlds in his hands, while Matthew McConnoghey is… fine. Turns out that it’s super hard to adapt 7 books worth of lore and world-building into 90 (!!!) minutes of film. Who knew?

Bald Movies – Atomic Blonde (2017)

We saw the new action spy thriller Atomic Blonde tonight, starring Charlize Theron and James McAvoy. We give universal praise to the action and the stars for delivering great performances and believable stunt work. The visual flair of the movie is incredible too. But, we’re just not sure about the plot. We might be having a slow night, but we’re not sure everyone’s motivations and spy stuff work out. And, I’m at least a little bummed that this movie was more gritty and introspective and less the fun romp I was expecting. Still, with stunt work nestled comfortably between the grounded pummeling of The Bourne Identity and the over the top wet work of John Wick, you owe it to yourself to see it and form your own opinion.

Bald Movies – Dunkirk (2017)

We’ve seen Christopher Nolan’s new film, the war epic Dunkirk, and found it hard to immediately react to. It’s a very visceral, claustrophobic, unflinching, and moving film, epic in scale, but equally effective in zooming in to focus on a small number of actual human beings to focus on and care about. It offers views of the best and worst of humanity, and constantly dares you to both judge and empathize with the men dealing death and narrowly avoiding it. Another fantastic film from Nolan.

Bald Movies – Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)

Hello, true believers! We have seen Spider-Man: Homecoming, and we pronounce it good. Really, really good. It’s kind of amazing how Marvel seems incapable of making anything less than a top level comic book film, and do enough with casting, set piece design, and slight tweaks to their formula to have even cynics like Jim wanting more. Like I said, it’s amazing. Spectacular, even. We talk briefly about the greatness of the film in a non-spoiler way, talk a bit about upcoming films, and then get down and dirty with Mr. Parker in the spoiler section. But! You’ll have to be a Club Member to get all that goodness. ‘Nuff said. Excelsior!

Bald Movies – Baby Driver (2017)

Jim and I got to see Edgar Wright’s newest action/comedy/musical, Baby Driver. And it’s glorious. Jim calls it the most entertaining movie of the year. High praise. I was blown away by the nerdy charm and magnetism of Ansel Elgort as the titular Baby. Seriously, he’s the perfect young Harrison Ford. I can’t believe they apparently cast someone who can’t act in the upcoming Han Solo movie, but what are you going to do? See this movie, and imagine if Ansel were cast instead of some forgettable male lead in YOUR favorite movie, that’s what I’d do. We also talk trailers and upcoming films, like we do, and then we get spoilery, but for Club Members only!

Bald Movies – The Mummy (2017)

Jim and A.Ron checked out the summer action/horror/Tom Cruise vehicle, The Mummy. A.Ron thinks it’s dumb, but fun, and draws comparisons to Stargate, American Werewolf in London, Hellboy, and League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Jim thinks it has the kind of fun, swashbuckling, scoundrel flavor found in the Uncharted video game series. So is it a successful start to Universal’s ambitious interconnected monster saga, Dark Universe? We’ll have to see how much money it makes. Please enjoy our spoiler free review of the film, as well as discussion of upcoming summer movies such as Atomic Blonde, Baby Driver, and American Assassin. But if you want to hear our spoiler filled review, you’ll have to be a Club Bald Move member!

Bald Movies – Wonder Woman (2017)

Hey everybody! DC has made a good post-Nolan superhero movie! Wonder Woman isn’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but Patty Jenkins directs Gal Gadot as a powerful avenging war goddess striding across the battlefield, but instills the heroine with enough human-scaled heart to keep us emotionally engaged. The film looks and sounds great, and Chris Pine is very good as a gender-bent damsel in various distress. Please enjoy our spoiler-free review and discussion of upcoming movies, but if you want to hear our spoiler filled deep dive, you’re going to have to be a Club Member!

Bald Movies – Alien: Covenant (2017)

Jim and A.Ron have seen Alien: Covenant, and declare it to be gorgeous, ambitious, and filled to the brim lofty ideas, but that it’s also really, really stupid. Which is a shame, since that’s a flaw that mired it’s predecessor, Prometheus. Ridley Scott still knows how to shoot a film, no doubt, but has he forgotten how to put smart, sharply defined characters in peril without them being the dumbest, pettiest humans alive?

Bald Movies – Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017)

We’ve seen Marvel’s latest installment in the never ending onslaught of comic book movies, Gaurdians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, and we think it’s pretty great. Some debate can be had about whether it’s as “good” as the first one, how much of the first’s success was due to the surprise delight factor, etc. But at the end of the day it’s a really, really good comic book movie, it’s fun, it’s colorful, it’s imaginative, it has the necessary emotional weight to make you connect to the characters and plot, it’s impeccably cast with tons of surprise guest spots, and, perhaps most importantly, it’s funny as hell. Please enjoy our spoiler-free review of the movie, and discussion of the latest trailers and upcoming movies for free! But if you want to know our full spoiler filled take on the movie, you’ll have to be a Club Member. Why not join today? The first 30 days are on us!