Bald Movies – Pacific Rim: Uprising (2018)

Jim and I saw a movie about giant robots punching even bigger monsters, and it was even dumber than we thought it would be.  Jim and I have no small amount of affection for the first Pacific Rim.  But hoo-boy, Pacific Rim: Uprising might up the robot on monster punching action slightly, but removes all of the spunk and charm of the original to give us a loud, boring, and thoroughly by the numbers action movie.  My 11 year old loved it, though, so if you have one of those around, or are one of those in heart and mind, by all means, don’t let us stop you from seeing Pacific Rim 2. Everybody else should steer well clear.

Bald Movies – Highlander (1986)

Special thanks to our buddy Jason Shankel hailing from the Nattercast for commissioning this podcast for the 1986 sci-fi action fantasy film Highlander, directed by Russell Mulcahy and starring Sean Connery and Christopher Lambert. Jason and his friends also did a deep dive on Highlander, so please check that out if you’re looking for a very affectionate and informed take from life-long fans of the franchise.  As for us, we thought Highlander was cheesy fun.  The film boasts an excellent soundtrack, exciting and varied sets for the extended sword fights, and some of the sturdiest and most interesting fantasy bones to hang a franchise on.  We walk away wondering why hasn’t anyone rebooted this?

Bald Movies – Red Sparrow (2018)

Tonight we were supposed to see A Wrinkle in Time, but we were upstaged by A Wrinkle in Ticket Pre-sales, so we called an audible and saw the movie we were supposed to see last week, Red Sparrow.  Starring Jennifer Lawrence as a Russian ballerina turned deadly secret agent, and Joel Edgerton as just a dumb*ss American spy it manages to be lurid without being interesting.  We’ll tell you what we thought about the movie up front, then talk about upcoming movies and trailers for a bit, but if you want our full spoiler-filled take you’ll have to be a Club Member! 

Bald Movies – The Exorcist (1973)

Special thanks to Stephen Moore, whose original commission of Home Alone we thoughtlessly trampled upon during our holiday revelries.  For his make-good podcast, he has selected the classic 1973 horror film, The Exorcist.  Directed by William Friedkin and starring  Ellen Burstyn, Linda Blair, Max von Sydow, and Jason Miller, it tells the harrowing tale of a mother who turns to Catholic priests as her last hope when her daughter gets possessed by an ancient evil spirit.  I’ve got to be honest, I was skeptical that the film would hold up, but does it ever.  Not only does it still manage to be genuinely disturbing, but it elevates the form of the horror flick into a generally excellent film in terms of art.

Bald Movies – Annihilation (2018)

We’ve just seen Annihilation, and boy are our minds blown.  Written and directed by Alex Garland and starring Natalie Portman, Oscar Isaacs, Tessa Thompson, and Jennifer Jason Leigh, it features a plot that it is alien, wondrous, unfathomable, and terrifying, with visuals to match.  It compares favorably to The Arrival, and is the kind of movie we wanted Alien: Covenant to be.  It’s just too bad that Paramount had so little faith in the film, in our eyes they had something special on their hands, and we feel sorry for the international audience that is going to see this for the first time on the small screen.  For everybody in the US, Canada, and China, go see this film!

Bald Movies – Black Panther (2018)

Ryan Coogler’s Black Panther is a great super hero film, and an even better launching point into interesting discussions about the politics of colonialism and liberation.  Starring Chadwick Boseman as the Panther himself, and Michael B. Jordan as the best Marvel villain since Magneto, the movie is a constant challenge to one’s complacency and sense of justice.  Wakanda looks amazing, the cast is fantastic, the world they are building is both visually and philosophically amazing, to the point that one of the films weaknesses is that we were desperate to learn and know more.

Bald Movies – The Beat That My Heart Skipped (2005)

Thanks to Melonusk for commissioning the 2005 french crime drama, De Battre Mon Cœur S’est Arrêté, or The Beat That My Heart Skipped. It tells the tale of a criminal operating in the lowest levels of French crime that has an unexpected opportunity to follow his dreams of being a concert pianist.  Pulled in two directions by the expectations of his father and his equally demanding, far less criminal piano tutor, director Jacques Audiard (director of Bald Move fave Un Prophète) finds clever ways of increasing the tension between the two paths that lie open to him.  We enjoyed the cyclical themes of father/son, teacher/student, infatuation/love and are once again impressed with Audiard’s storytelling ability, even if Jim questions how much story we’re actually being told.

Bald Movies – The Lost Boys (1987)

Special thanks to Saylor from Santa Cruz, the latest Bald Move Fantasy Football champ to claim their prize for winning the league.  Emerging from the pile victorious, he has selected the 1997 vampire flick, The Lost Boys.  Helmed by Joel Schumacher and chocked equally full of cool and hilarious moments and extremely questionable decisions, the film manages to confound and delight.  Why is 16 year old Corey Haim taking baths and being tucked into bed by his mother?  Why is there a shirtless oiled up, muscle bound sax player?  Why is Rob Lowe gazing seductively from Haim’s bedroom closet, and more importantly, why is Jim completely oblivious to his siren’s call?  Is the grandpa a vampire or what?  All these questions and more are explored in the depth to which they deserve.