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We take a couple cracks at the Vampire’s Kiss rewrite; one serious, one not so much. Can we fix a movie that isn’t worth watching without its lead actor? If not, maybe we can further ruin the movie in search of the dark comedy within?
Jim and A.Ron got a one-two punch to their sense of nostalgia as Creed 2 relentlessly broke us and a theater full of Rocky diehards down. It should not be possible to build so much pathos and legend on the somewhat shaky foundations of Rocky IV, but we’ll be d*mned if they don’t. Up and coming director Steven Caple Jr. recaptures the magic of the original Creed, Michael B. Jordan is amazing as always, Sylvester Stallone continues to age like fine wine into the role he was born to play, and Tessa Thompson once again shows that playing a boxer’s wife/girlfriend doesn’t require you to be a human wet blanket. If you’re a Rocky fan, you’re going to like this film.
Multiple viewings and hours of sober reflection have led us both to believe that Con Air is a bad movie. The plot is contrived, the accents are awful, and it’s perhaps the least “Cagey” performance in Cage’s entire career. And yet, maybe based on star-power alone, it remains a classic which simply must be watched.
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A shocking discovery was made as we attempted to rewrite the cheesy classic, Con Air: It’s actually way harder than you think to fix this movie. Does that mean that the plot is actually better thought-out than we first assumed? Or is the fundamental idea so flawed that it’s simply impossible to film if you respect your audience? Or perhaps it’s simply a lack of imagination on our part? Any way you view it, we had to get real silly to make this one work, but we had a lot of fun in the process.
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We kicked off the back half of Season of the Cage with perhaps his most mainstream film of all time, Con Air. Does that mean it’s inoffensive? No. Is it one of Cage’s more impressive acting jobs? Also, no. Is it even a good film? Again, no. But that also doesn’t mean it’s not a fun movie to watch. Jim loves it, A.Ron probably doesn’t, but you should decide for yourself as you listen to us make jokes over it.
Another split decision on the latest first run Bald Movie, the WW2-themed action-horror film, Overlord. The serious and somber tone set against the gonzo and outrageous action quickly lost Jim. I thought the film delivered a pretty solid war film, followed by a tense and effective horror film, then rounded into a solid action romp that unfortunately started collapsing under the weight of too many action movie tropes. Still, the war scenes are more horrifying than most supernatural spookfests, the characters while basic are appealing, and the effects gruesome and effective enough to deliver the goods, especially if you can turn your brain off for the last act.
We’re back with a review of Charlie Kaufman’s 2002 “look-mom-I-wrote-myself-into-this-movie-about-orchids” classic, Adaptation. It’s a real noodle-bender which features one of Nicolas Cage’s finest performances. Fitting, since it puts a bow on the Summer portion of Season of the Cage.
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Despite containing perhaps Nicolas Cage’s finest performance, and being one hell of an interesting movie, we manage to turn the livewatch for Adaptation into nearly two hours of jokes about missing teeth, monkeys, and a man who loves to fuck orchids. Enjoy the show!
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Turns out that the discussion presented in our review of Adaptation was about half of what we actually recorded. In typical fashion, we digressed quite a bit into topics that we’ll call “creatively related” to the movie; what Dan Harmon has to say about creative writing, episodic vs. serialized TV, our creative hangups and methods for overcoming them. As Club Bald Move members, you get to enjoy the entirety of our extended Adaptation discussion.
Jim and I had a helluva lot of fun seeing the Queen biopic Bohemian Rhapsody tonight, starring Rami Malek. It’s getting mixed reviews, but we’re struggling to understand why. Malek does an incredible job embodying the greatest rock band front man of all time, the soundtrack is just literally all of the greatest Queen hits, so what’s not to like? Unless the movie tells just truly egregious and hateful lies about Mr. Mercury, which we’re not in a position to verify, or the justifiable suspicion around the film’s director is souring people’s opinion on it, we can’t see much not to like.Freddie Mercury is front and center of the stage as he should be, but it does a great job of highlighting the incredible talents and creativity of Brian May, John Deacon, and Roger Taylor as well.