Uncharted (2022)

Uncharted is getting pretty awful reviews and we think we know why. Mark Wahlberg. He’s just a bad Sully and doesn’t seem particularly interested in being in what is an otherwise competent National Treasure-style action movie. It feels very similar to the series of games and the set pieces were enjoyable enough to keep us engaged, with maybe one exception. Join us for the podcast to hear our full spoiler-free thoughts and then, if you’re a Club Bald Move member, continue into the spoiler section at the end.

Killjoy (2000)

We went into Killjoy nearly blind but podcast commissioner Doug assured us that it was bad enough to wrap back around to good. Turns out Doug was exactly right. The creators chose the homeopathic approach to budgeting, mixing no more than 1 part money to every 100 parts runtime. Despite that, we enjoyed our time with it. Join us for the podcast to find out exactly why.

Jurassic Park (1993)

We have a new commissioned podcast from bald move fan Sheldon… it’s Jurassic Park! Do the effects hold up? Are the kids annoying? What happened to the shaving cream can full of dino embryos? What would this movie look like with Jim Carrey in the role of Dr. Ian Malcolm? We ponder all these and more as we gaze into the amber orb of nostalgia that is Jurassic Park.

The Matrix Resurrections (2021)

We’ve seen The Matrix Resurrections and the only thing we want to say is “not bad”. Seriously, we don’t want to spoil anything for you and there’s a lot going on in this movie. You might want to see it again or, like Jim, you might want to see another sequel before you make up your mind about this one, but at the very least it’s more enjoyable than either of the previous Matrix sequels. Join us for the spoiler-free podcast and trailer talk and then, only if you’re a club member, stick around for the full spoiler review.

Premium

Gremlins (1984)

Our final Merry Scary Christmas podcast is out. Be careful not to get it wet, and whatever you do, don’t feed it after midnight. That’s right, it’s the holiday classic Gremlins, ready for you to unwrap. It was a lot of fun to record, and we hope you get as much joy from the listen.

Premium

Krampus (2015)

We’ve got your second Merry Scary Christmas present ready to unwrap! It’s the 2015 horror comedy, Krampus! If you’ve never heard of the concept of Krampus, the shadowy counterpart to Santa who punishes naughty children, this film is a fun introduction to the ancient myth. It’s got a great cast including Adam Scott and Toni Collette. Join us for the podcast to hear our full breakdown.

Premium

Rare Exports (2010)

The first movie in our slate of Very Scary Christmas movies is Rare Exports. It’s an unusual mix of mystery, horror, and the commercialization of Christmas that hails from Finland. Join us for this “festive” podcast to get in the spirit of the season!

Eternals (2021)

Marvel’s latest deep cut superhero origin story movie tries to do too much with too little and ends up disappointing. There’s too much runtime with not enough plot. There are too many characters with not enough development. There are too many scenes with not enough light. Join us on the podcast to hear our non-spoiler thoughts and trailer talk, and come through the paywall to the spoiler section if you’re a club member. If you want to join the club, check out https://support.baldmove.com/ to find out how.

The Guest (2014)

The Guest is nothing like the movie I thought it’d be. It’s one of those movies where the name is so generically boring that someone asks you “Have you seen The Guest?” and you respond “Sure”, thinking you’ve seen it but you’re actually thinking of The Others, The Nun, The Grudge, The Delivery, or The . I actually just made up those last two, that’s how boring the title of this movie is. The premise isn’t that exciting either. A man shows up at a house claiming to be a friend of their son who died in war, but he’s weird.

That said, this movie is way more fun than the title or the premise would indicate. When it breaks the sidewalls of its mediocre horror mold and spills messily out into other genres, it becomes a ton of fun. Dan Stevens and Maika Monroe are excellent as well.

Thanks to Maggie for commissioning this unique movie. Join us on the podcast for our full review.