Up Yours, Downstairs!

This Is The Worst Prom Ever

Kelly and Tom welcome the much-vaunted Dowager Cousin Jackie to UYDS and the trio does not disappoint with this recap of Titanic: The Legend Goes On… The gang spends most of the episode completely baffled by the “film,” including (but not limited to) the bargain-basement animation, much ado about a locket, the fact that no one is fazed by…

Up Yours, Downstairs!

Puberty Beach

In this recap of the excellent film adaptation of Maurice, Kelly and Tom learn how to pronounce “Maurice,” marvel at Hugh Grant’s trascendent good looks, figure out where to get their buttery waxed, fail to tell the difference between Thing 1 and Thing 2, spot a young Helena Bonham Carter, and are generally appreciative of…

Up Yours, Downstairs!

Blinded By The Boatship

Kelly and Tom run their coverage of Titanic: BS straight into an iceberg with this quick and dirty recap of the final five episodes. They talk about Simple Jack perhaps more than necessary, complain about Muir and Princess Steel, wish Michael McCann was in a better show, marvel at the resourcefulness of one “Kitty Burlington,” get mad…

Up Yours, Downstairs!

Nice Sweater, Idiot

Kelly & Tom continue their arduous slog through Titanic BS with their recap of Episode 7.  They celebrate the return of Chris Noth’s mustache, puzzle over Neve Campbell’s otherworldly, hideously costumed press agent, start shipping Malandrews, wonder what happened to Sad Andrea, kill a German munitions supplier, encourage the Cousins to open a bar and grocery, talk…

Up Yours, Downstairs!

Law & Order: Steel Victims Unit

This week, Kelly & Tom skip ahead to Titanic BS Episode 6 on account of Episode 5 containing more BS than usual.  There, they anticipate being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, figure out whether we are supposed to feel bad for Kitty Carlton, find a new favorite solicitor, hope that Violetta is hooking, mistake a German for…

Up Yours, Downstairs!

CreateCelebBaby.com

In this recap of Titanic BS Episode 3, Kelly and Tom go on the hunt to locate Ewan McGregor, capture some escaped blue, explain Bastille Day to hipsters, reform the educational system, spot an attractive ginger, and give career counseling to Sad Andrea. Lord Pirrie’s hat is sincere, Sofia’s button is suspicious, Dad’s gin bottle is traditional,…

Up Yours, Downstairs!

The HMS Moderately Sized

In this belated recap of Titanic BS E2 (now with a spaghetti co-host!), Kelly & Tom marvel at the Muirscope, demand more of JP Morgan’s mustache, rejoice at the return of Lady Skunkhead, balk at the beigeness of the Hatton family, gape at Kitty’s brazenness, wonder if Lord Pirrie and Mr. Andrews are related, and laugh and…

Up Yours, Downstairs!

Rissoles Or Death

This week, Kelly and Tom finally get around to recapping Titanic BS–no steel barons allowed! Amidst the color saturated splendor and completely inappropriate sexual tension of Edwardian Belfast, they marvel at Neve Campbell’s “acting,” the period-appropriate whores, the machinations of the Onion Organizer, Stephen Oven-Bake, and Chris Noth’s mustache’s fantastic performance as Jiggery Pokery Morgan. Kelly…

Giggles And Drinking: A Life In Retail

It’s time to close the doors on Series One of Mr. Selfridge–we think. It’s possible that Jeremy Piven has been running around, setting all the clocks five minutes ahead.  Kelly and Tom get unbelievably angry at Mr. Grove, imagine Sherlock Without Sherlock, weigh the pros and cons of living like the Eskimo, worry that Rosalie has appendicitis,…