Up Yours, Downstairs!

I Want to Go to the Dung Pile!

In their penultimate recap of Parade’s End, Kelly & Tom dive into Part 4 with relish—but not mustard.  They debate the merits of sharing one’s wife with an Egyptologist, consult Shmyahoo! Answers, point out that Sergeant Ferret is just like McG, retroactively nominate Roger Allam for all the awards, witness the making of a MacGuffin, pit Mary…

Up Yours, Downstairs!

A Burning, Corset-Filled Hell

It’s Part 3 of Parade’s End, and Kelly and Tom are really Batching it up.  They admire Sylvia’s treason dress, try to remember if CBatch got any love from the Emmys this year, brainstorm a new line of makeup, malign sailors on leave and Burning Man, reveal the most mentally stable denomination of British currency, and…

Up Yours, Downstairs!

God Of Catalogs

After serious consideration and a viewing of Part 2, Kelly and Tom declare Parade’s End a riveting must-see! This is due in no small part to the horrifying Groby tree, CBatch’s Oogie Boogie smile, Sylvia’s plot-driven nudity, Tom “the Stoppard” Stoppard, a very whiny Wannop, the most German-looking of German houses, Potty Chumpstache, a very Edwardian gathering…

Up Yours, Downstairs!

We Assume It Was A Dispute Over Tea

Kelly and Tom kick off their coverage of Parade’s End (aka “The Batch Witch Project”) in the usual fashion: critiquing Murray’s mustache! Though the jury is still out on what they think of the series after one episode, they amuse themselves by making up nicknames for Benedict Cumberbatch, declaring that Sylvia is Scarlett Johansson if…

Up Yours, Downstairs!

This Is The Worst Prom Ever

Kelly and Tom welcome the much-vaunted Dowager Cousin Jackie to UYDS and the trio does not disappoint with this recap of Titanic: The Legend Goes On… The gang spends most of the episode completely baffled by the “film,” including (but not limited to) the bargain-basement animation, much ado about a locket, the fact that no one is fazed by…

Up Yours, Downstairs!

Puberty Beach

In this recap of the excellent film adaptation of Maurice, Kelly and Tom learn how to pronounce “Maurice,” marvel at Hugh Grant’s trascendent good looks, figure out where to get their buttery waxed, fail to tell the difference between Thing 1 and Thing 2, spot a young Helena Bonham Carter, and are generally appreciative of…

Up Yours, Downstairs!

Blinded By The Boatship

Kelly and Tom run their coverage of Titanic: BS straight into an iceberg with this quick and dirty recap of the final five episodes. They talk about Simple Jack perhaps more than necessary, complain about Muir and Princess Steel, wish Michael McCann was in a better show, marvel at the resourcefulness of one “Kitty Burlington,” get mad…

Up Yours, Downstairs!

Nice Sweater, Idiot

Kelly & Tom continue their arduous slog through Titanic BS with their recap of Episode 7.  They celebrate the return of Chris Noth’s mustache, puzzle over Neve Campbell’s otherworldly, hideously costumed press agent, start shipping Malandrews, wonder what happened to Sad Andrea, kill a German munitions supplier, encourage the Cousins to open a bar and grocery, talk…

Up Yours, Downstairs!

Law & Order: Steel Victims Unit

This week, Kelly & Tom skip ahead to Titanic BS Episode 6 on account of Episode 5 containing more BS than usual.  There, they anticipate being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, figure out whether we are supposed to feel bad for Kitty Carlton, find a new favorite solicitor, hope that Violetta is hooking, mistake a German for…