Can I Bring My Own Dance Belt?

Kelly & Tom deliver yet another AP English-heavy recap for Mr. Selfridge S2E4.  They declare Rose to be the Columbus, OH of people, demand more screentime for Lurch, speculate about Beatrice’s claim to immortality, find themselves fascinated by the Horny Chocolatier, identify French slut-shaming as the glue that held the British Empire together, wonder why New Gordon…

If Carmen Sandiego Could See Us Now

In their recap of Mr. Selfridge S2E3, Kelly & Tom are shockingly won over by Mr. Grove’s gettin’ it done montage, find New Gordon’s pornography unimpressive, discuss how tigers like their afternoon tea, rejoice at Mr. Leclair’s return to retail, wonder what Pimble gets up to, express concern that Harry wants a drink, imagine Eyeliner’s various delusions…

The Baby Battalion of 1915

Kelly & Tom recover from tax season with their recap of Mr. Selfridge S2E2.  They speculate that Miss Towler may be experiencing Goblin King-related interference, point out that New Gordon is no Charlie Chaplin, elucidate Jeremy Piven’s internal monologue, count all the horrible things that should be highlighted in a British “Empire” exhibition, suggest the Lord Loxley…

Boobs v. Pickpocket

Kelly & Tom return to the wonderful world of Eyeliner in their recap of Mr. Selfridge S2E1.  They discuss the difficulty inherent in following the PBS broadcast schedule, a superior credits sequence, the perfection that is Polly Walker, Marvilius: The Lost Hogwarts House, Mr. Crabbe’s cousin, the return of Lang, the origin of mannequins, a community theatre…

Up Yours, Downstairs!

In Soviet Russia, Coat Gets You!

Kelly & Tom overcome the limitations of time and space to bring you this super-sized recap of Downton Abbey S4’s Christmas Special, “The London Season.” Together, they explore the most grating American accent yet, how children are reared on McG’s home planet, the many delights of Dudders, how much Rose’s ball could be improved with sideboob, Blake’s…

Up Yours, Downstairs!

Nothing But Boots

In their penultimate recap of Downton Abbey S4, Kelly and Tom pretty much lose their minds over the Tamworths, can’t believe Bates is plunging us into yet another murder plotline, marvel at the McG-ness of McG, compliment the Dowager on her philosophical leanings, applaud the ingenuity of Yorkshire’s nascent carnie society, lament the return of the Homely…

Up Yours, Downstairs!

The Sybil Crawley Memorial Golly

Kelly & Tom are just in love with Downton Abbey in this recap of S4E6.  The objects of their rekindled affection include Baxter’s infuriatingly vague past, heathenish orange juice, hating Woodrow Wilson, the elusive Gutenberg Bible, Isobel’s official return to meddling, the sexploits of Leslie “Hutch” Hutchinson, Violet Kush, kangaroo thieves, Charles Blake’s unfortunate haircut, McG being…

Up Yours, Downstairs!

The Wickham of Podcasts

Kelly & Tom wax cautiously optimistic for the rest of the season in this recap of Downton Abbey S4E5 as they talk refrigerators and the wacky adventures of Lord Byron. They also talk Branson’s upbringing, the proper way to mail a baby, shipping Daisy and the sewing machine, disgusting Top Chef fanfic, Baron Julian’s sudden recollection of everything that’s…