Bald Movies – Aladdin (2019)

If you’re wishing for a three-way review of Disney’s latest live-action adaptation, Aladdin, then listener you’re in luck. Wish granted. Cecily, Jim, and I went to see it tonight with appropriately low expectations, but were very pleasantly surprised at how much fun and energy the movie provided. Better, the script smartly adapted the original, improving it’s pacing while also adding depth to Jafar’s intrigue and Jasmine’s character, making it smarter and more relatable to modern audiences. The Tomatometer is kinda brutal for Al and friends right now (59% as of this writing), so take our review with a grain of salt. And we’re still skeptical of the long term viability of these live-action adaptations, but we feel like this movie is proof that they aren’t necessarily doomed to be pointless wastes of time.

Bald Movies – John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum (2019)

Jim and I take a belated look at the latest installment in the John Wick saga, Chapter 3: Parabellum. JW3:B, has some of the finest action sequences we’ve ever seen, but it’s also rapidly approaching diminishing returns in terms of quantity over quality. We’re all for combat innovations including insane knife work, horse and dog augmented combat, and up-armored adversaries, but there’s only so many times you can watch Keanu kill a guy with a gun before you start checking your watch. With John Wick 4 looking to keep upping it’s ante, is this momentum sustainable? We’ll look forward to finding out!

Bald Movies – Detective Pikachu (2019)

Novice Pokemon Trainer A.Ron is joined by S Rank Trainer Cecily to break down the action in Detective Pokemon. We were both surprised at how straightforward a kids film this was. To be fair, we weren’t expecting Deadpool out of a Ryan Reynolds’ starring Pokemon film, but parents looking to be thrown an adult bone over the heads of their children are probably going to be disappointed. Still, it’s relentlessly, almost threateningly cute, and the more into Pokemon you are the more you’ll appreciate the universe and background details they’re packing into the scene. 

Bald Movies – Avengers: Endgame (2019)

Jim and I have seen the climax to a decade’s worth of world building in the MCU, Avengers: Endgame, and would like to certify it 100% awesome. Sure, you might quibble with a few cameos you don’t recognize, and the more you’re capable of rolling with the “Rule of Cool” the more you’ll appreciate the spectacle they’re putting on screen. But it’s hard to imagine any fan of superhero movies not respecting what an accomplishment this is; to get so many people across the globe to care about and invest in these characters through 20+ movies that they’ll sit in the dark for 3+ hours laughing and crying with them. How does Marvel top this? Can’t wait to find out.

Bald Movies – Hellboy (2019)

Jim and I saw the Neil Marshall helmed, David Harbour starring 2019 reboot of Hellboy. And it’s the definition of a mixed bag. Sporting an impressively low 11% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes, Jim thought the movie was bad, but I borderline loved it. I have no explanation for my critical disparity, and I can see the issues with plot and humor that Jim and others are expressing but… I’ve seen a helluva lot of worse movies this year get better reviews. Am I losing my touch? Or do you just have to be a die hard Hellboy fan to admire what this movie has to offer. It’s a damn shame, because while I think everyone can agree that Harbour makes an excellent Hellboy, the movie isn’t likely to get the sequel his casting deserves.

Bald Movies – Pet Sematary (2019)

A.Ron and Jim talk about the latest attempt at a Stephen King adaptation, Pet Sematary. The movie is genuinely scary and horrifying when it wants to be, unfortunately in our opinion they squander a lot of time and goodwill in the first act flailing about conceptually which keeps us from connecting with the characters and setting the way we should. But still, the family dynamics, endangered children, and a great Jon Lithgow performance does just enough to sell us when things that were better off left dead aren’t.

Bald Movies – The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind (2019)

We’ve seen Chiwetel Ejiofor’s (star of 12 Years a Slave, Doctor Strange) directorial debut on Netflix, The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind, and found it compelling and enlightening. Based on a true story about a Malawian boy who saves his village from famine with his wits, ingenuity, and education, The Boy offers us an inside look at things we can barely begin to relate to; widespread starvation, civil unrest and the breakdown of society. Things that we may have to relate to sooner than we think. 

Bald Movies – Captain Marvel (2019)

We have seen the latest Marvel super extravaganza, Captain Marvel, and come away with the suspicion that it’s missing something from the usual Marvel formula. If anything, it feels DC-esque in the way it’s attempting to shoe horn in a new, unknown super power into the MCU. Uninspired fights, plot twists that are seen for miles away, and lacking engaging supporting characters (aside from Jackson’s Nick Fury, whom Brie’s Marvel has very good chemistry with) that give the main character emotional stakes, Captain Marvel is good, perhaps, but not great, and maybe that’s overselling it. 

Bald Movies – Second Annual “Groundhog Day” Star Wars Marathon Wrap Up!

At long last we’re ready to wrap up our second annual “Groundhog Day” Star Wars movie marathon! With the help and support of the Bald Move community, we raised $15,691.51 for the National Alliance to End Homelessness over 24 grueling hours of non-stop Star Wars watching. There was food, there was mugs, there were socks. Mark Hamill gave us a tip of his cap. Bidets were raffled. Jim and A.Ron break down their thoughts and feelings on the event, and dish on plans for future marathons, then invite Ben Noll from the National Alliance to discuss their mission and how they feel they can truly end homelessness. Thanks everyone for helping to make this a smashing success, and we can’t wait to see what happens next year!