Bald Movies – Ad Astra (2019)

Jim and I went to the outer reaches of the solar system with Ad Astra, the paradoxically slow moving, absorbing, thoughtful, but action packed sci-fi film starring Brad Pitt and Tommy Lee Jones. We spend the better part of an hour talking about what we thought the film was about, and the strange, ultra-realistic yet dreamy quality to a lot of the proceedings. I think we both admired the film more than loved it, but I at least wouldn’t be surprised if further contemplation (and watches) revealed some hidden depths. 

Bald Movies – IT Chapter Two (2019)

We went to see Chapter Two of Stephen King’s IT, and we were both kind of underwhelmed. We were both fans of the first installment, but unfortunately the great acting and interesting characterizations are undermined by hokey horror sequences and what feels like a lot of recycled material from Chapter One. We think it’s an okay film, not a very effective horror movie, and with the cast and material that’s pretty surprising. We’ll be back in a few weeks to take on Ad Astra (and Cecily and I will be sneaking in a review of the Downton Abbey movie), see you then!

Bald Movies – Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood (2019)

We went and saw “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”, the latest movie written and directed by Quentin Tarantino, starring Brad Pitt, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Margot Robbie. It’s not his best film, it’s certainly not his “worst”, but for us it’s extremely watchable throughout it’s nearly three hour run-time and when it finally goes off the rails in the last reel, hoo-boy. Brad and Leo are having a lot of fun, the film is as gorgeous as you’d expect, and Hollywood looks as magical as it ever has on screen.  We’ll be back next week to check out Hobbes and Shaw, see you then! 

Bald Movies – The Lion King (2019)

Jim and A.Ron have seen the “live-action” remake of The Lion King, but why? Why was this film made? I mean, we know the rea$on$ The Mouse is jamming this joyless attempt at cinema down our throats, but really, why? A stellar vocal cast can’t even come close to making it worth it. It’s hard to think of a more pointless endeavor, and it’s \all down hill after the cold open. Stay at home, save your money, and put on your best copy of the original on your biggest screen and crank up the sound. Enough with this pretender. Long live the original King!

Bald Movies – Toy Story 4 (2019)

Frankly, we were prepared to be mildly disappointed and to cluck our tongues at the Mouse and wag our fingers at all of his hubris as we sat down to watch Toy Story 4. Nobody asked for this sequel. It was foolish to get this franchise out of the vault after you delivered an absolutely perfect trilogy with the most beautiful ending you could ask for. But you know what? They did it. Toy Story 4 can look it’s predecessors square in the eye as it has just as much humor, heart, and a wonderful, emotionally rewarding finale.  Not to mention it’s the best looking Toy Story yet. This is a movie that was made for everyone, and it delivers the goods.

Bald Movies – Men in Black: International (2019)

Jim and I have seen the latest installment in the long running Men in Black franchise, Men in Black: International. And it’s okay. It’s fun and entertaining, largely because Tessa Thompson and Chris Hemsworth are fun and entertaining people who have an easy chemistry. The plot is twisty, but not very smart, and the whole thing just struggles to find the big red “hyperspace” button that would get it into orbit where it belongs. But if all you’re looking for is a bit of 90s nostalgia in a forgettable summer flick package, Men in Black: International will do.

Bald Movies – Dark Phoenix (2019)

Jim and I went to see the latest X-Men flick, Dark Phoenix. It’s not as bad as it’s Rotten Tomatoes rating would imply, but it’s certainly not good. And it’s unfortunately because once again a classic X-Men plotline is burnt (refried, in this case) and all-time great Magneto and Professor X performances by Fassbender and MacElvoy are wasted on a script with muddled characters and paper thin villains. Long time fans of the X-Men will enjoy some great stand alone moments with their favorite characters, and the core chemistry of Xavier / Magneto / Mystique work to get the film’s emotional heart a brief jump. But ultimately the film folds underneath the weight of apathy and ugly FX  work.