A Spitting Mad Weasel

Kelly & Tom are completely Crabbestruck in their recap of Mr. Selfridge S2E7. They also get paid by the Oliver! reference, confirm that Beatrice sees all, cheer Agnes’ excellent relationship skills, hope for the return of that stick-poking kid, get completely squicked out by Mr. Grove’s urges, declare The Plunkett to be Edwardian tech support, and are…

The Charlie Chaplins of the Sky

Kelly & Tom laugh at a lot of inappropriate moments in their recap of Mr. Selfridge S2E6. They also christen a Conehead, launch the good ‘ship Malorian, tell Monsieur LeClair to get his shit together, provide ill-informed book reviews, beg Beyonce to write a song about women of independent means, bet on Kitty Hawkins in a rap…

Look Out, Royal Baby!

Kelly & Tom go back to the tea emporium in their recap of Mr. Selfridge S2E5, but they can only podcast while riding a bus that’s pulling away. They meet the Artful Porter, suspect Eyeliner of being a Bond villain AND Judi Dench, realize that all violins look like a naked lady’s back, fall in love with…

Can I Bring My Own Dance Belt?

Kelly & Tom deliver yet another AP English-heavy recap for Mr. Selfridge S2E4.  They declare Rose to be the Columbus, OH of people, demand more screentime for Lurch, speculate about Beatrice’s claim to immortality, find themselves fascinated by the Horny Chocolatier, identify French slut-shaming as the glue that held the British Empire together, wonder why New Gordon…

If Carmen Sandiego Could See Us Now

In their recap of Mr. Selfridge S2E3, Kelly & Tom are shockingly won over by Mr. Grove’s gettin’ it done montage, find New Gordon’s pornography unimpressive, discuss how tigers like their afternoon tea, rejoice at Mr. Leclair’s return to retail, wonder what Pimble gets up to, express concern that Harry wants a drink, imagine Eyeliner’s various delusions…

The Baby Battalion of 1915

Kelly & Tom recover from tax season with their recap of Mr. Selfridge S2E2.  They speculate that Miss Towler may be experiencing Goblin King-related interference, point out that New Gordon is no Charlie Chaplin, elucidate Jeremy Piven’s internal monologue, count all the horrible things that should be highlighted in a British “Empire” exhibition, suggest the Lord Loxley…

Boobs v. Pickpocket

Kelly & Tom return to the wonderful world of Eyeliner in their recap of Mr. Selfridge S2E1.  They discuss the difficulty inherent in following the PBS broadcast schedule, a superior credits sequence, the perfection that is Polly Walker, Marvilius: The Lost Hogwarts House, Mr. Crabbe’s cousin, the return of Lang, the origin of mannequins, a community theatre…

Up Yours, Downstairs!

In Soviet Russia, Coat Gets You!

Kelly & Tom overcome the limitations of time and space to bring you this super-sized recap of Downton Abbey S4’s Christmas Special, “The London Season.” Together, they explore the most grating American accent yet, how children are reared on McG’s home planet, the many delights of Dudders, how much Rose’s ball could be improved with sideboob, Blake’s…