Bald Movies – John Wick: Chapter 2 (2017)

Jim and A.Ron have seen John Wick: Chapter Two, and proclaim it “more of the same”, and we mean that as a compliment. There’s still some shaky plotting when the action dies down, but thankfully that only happens for five, maybe ten minutes tops and then it’s back to headshots and stabbing galore. This film’s body count is astronomical, and if you can’t find some sort of grim humor in Keanu butchering men and women like so much cattle, then this isn’t the film for you. But you probably already knew that. Also! We discuss trailers for upcoming films, then get super spoilery about Mr. Wick, but that’s an exclusive feature for Club Members Only!

Bald Movies – Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991)

Congratulations to Nick Wilson, winner of one of two official “Bald Move Fantasy Football Leagues” that our forums play host to. His grand prize was a commissioned podcast, which we are pleased to present during Superbowl week. Nick picked a real crowd pleaser, Terminator 2: Judgment Day. Featuring ground breaking special effects, a sci-fi plot that doesn’t give two craps about causality, and Arnold Schwarzenegger at the height of his powers, the movie delivers the action goods, and then some. We discuss time travel, great movie villains, where this movie stacks up in the pantheon of sequels, and much more.

Bald Movies – Gold (2017)

Jim and A.Ron give their thoughts on a terrible, no good, boring film starring Matthew McConaughey, Bryce Dallas Howard, Édgar Ramírez and directed by Stephen Gaghan; Gold. It’s the definition of a mediocre film that half-asses themes that much better films have done very recently, including The Wolf of Wall Street, American Hustle, and The Big Short. We also discuss the upcoming lineup of first run Bald Movies, before getting to the Club only spoiler section. See you in a few weeks for John Wick 2!

Bald Movies – Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982)

Special thanks to Josh “Anubus21” Wilson for the conclusion of his three podcast trilogy (previously Screamers and PCU), Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.  Arguably the greatest Trek film of all time, and featuring the unquestionably greatest Trek movie villain, Wrath holds up like a champ.  Featuring terrifying ear worms, a broad range of quality Shatnerian acting, Chekov screaming, and Ricardo…

Bald Movies – The Dark Knight (2008)

Special thanks to a bunch of Aron’s gaming buddies, namely Hobbsam, CLUSTER_F, SheIsGeeky, TONYDETH, Jormagund, and Meatplow77 for coming together to commission perhaps the greatest superhero movie of all time, Batman: The Dark Knight. Featuring a Heath Ledger performance that one him a posthumous Oscar, this film has a unique blend of superb writing and direction, dazzling action, well grounded performance, and just enough heart to make it a modern classic. Jim and A.Ron talk about the Christopher Nolan Batman trilogy in general, and the Batman himself before lavishing praise upon the film, and of course, poking around for the few problems the film has.

Bald Movies – PCU (1994)

Special thanks to Josh “anubus21” Wilson again for yet another commission (he also is responsible for the recent Screamers), this time he decided to troll us by making us watch the terrible “Jeremy Piven goes to college” movie, PCU. We figured it was only fair to troll him back by tearing the movie a new one. We don’t think the movie is particularly funny, it’s message is bad, and it’s full of unlikable characters with murky motivations and goals beyond throwing the ultimate rager and wishing minorities and vegetarians would just, you know, chill already. Its lone bright spot is that mid-movie, George Clinton personally pilots the Mothership as he drops a righteous funk bomb on the film, but even ordinance that powerful couldn’t stop the monstrous Piven.

All in all, a fairly successful troll all around. Thanks for your support, Josh, and… enjoy?

Bald Movies – Natural Born Killers (1994)

Jason decided to tag his wife Aime back for the the movies (Transformers, Toxic Avenger) she’d commissioned for him over Christmas, by having us chat about her personal favorite movie, Oliver Stone’s 1994 film, Natural Born Killers. We found this movie to be wonderfully cast (Woody Harrelson, Juliette Lewis, Robert Downey, Jr., Tommy Lee Jones, Tom Sizemore, among others) and fully insane in it’s direction, visuals, editing, and message, and thus spent about half our time talking about the film itself, and the other half pondering the human condition. Jason, Aime, hope you two crazy love birds enjoy this commission, and if either of you start talking about being the god of your world, back out of the room slowly. Make no sudden movements.

Bald Movies – The Toxic Avenger (1984)

Merry Christmas, Jason Miller! Your wife, Aime thought it would be a nice present to commission you a pair of podcasts to open beneath the tree. This is one of them, 1984’s cult horror classic, “The Toxic Avenger”. Directed by Michael Herz and “starring” Mitch Cohen, Mark Torgl, Andree Maranda, it’s a work of pure cinematic insanity of over the top and cheaply filmed gore, sex, violence, and sexual violence. We discuss Troma films in general, pollution, dick punching, and much more as we attempt to review a movie that defies criticism.